The Soldier And The Nurse
by starrysky7
Summary: Clara met Bucky in the summer of 1941, and now, two years later, they're married and he's shipping off. Clara has to survive living without the one she loves, but will fate tear them apart forever?
1. Chapter 1 - Double Dates

_"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage."  
_

_Lao Tzu_

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**Disclaimer: Everything belongs to its rightful owners.**

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**Chapter One - Double Dates**

Even after living in Brooklyn for almost three years, Clara still hadn't gotten used to the hustle and bustle of the city. Of course, the apartment she lived in was a far cry from the mansion she had grown up in. But it was a welcome change. As it was for love.

Clara scrubbed the dishes harder, trying to distract herself from her husbands impending departure. But she could not forget the fact that the man she loved was going off to fight overseas. And she could not forget, the very real possibility, that he would be coming back to her in a box.

"Clara" said a voice from behind her, causing her to jump,

"Bucky" she said, smiling as she looked at her husband, "I was just cleaning up"

"I think that plate is clean" he said

Clara looked down, to see that the plate she was scrubbing was in no way dirty, and realised that she had been scrubbing the same plate for almost half an hour. She set the plate down on the drying rack, her cheeks going pink from embarrassment.

"I think it is" she muttered, looking anywhere but at Bucky, knowing that he would find her blush amusing. He always loved to make her blush.

"I'm gonna go get Steve, okay" he said, wrapping his arms around her waist, pulling her back against his chest, "We'll meet you there, with your friend"

Clara nodded her head, leaning her head back against him, resting her hands over his. She would miss Bucky terribly, miss moments like this. Where they would just hold one another, no words needing to be spoken. Just the feeling of each others arms.

"I love you" he whispered to her, pressing a kiss to her neck, sending shivers down her spine

"I love you more" she whispered back

"Impossible" he said, his lips tickling her neck

"Go" she said, pulling away from him, pressing her hand to his chest to push him away, "I'll see you later"

"Keep cleaning those dishes" he teased, smirking as he walked backwards towards the door, "They'll all be spotless, in about a year"

Clara picked up the tea towel from the bench, throwing it at him. He easily swiped it from the air, his grin never faltering, and neither did her own. She watched him, not turning away until he had disappeared out the door. She placed her hands on the sink, leaning over it. She reached back, pulling out her hair, letting her strawberry blonde curls fall down onto her shoulders, thinking back to day that she met Bucky.

She had been living in Brooklyn for almost three months, having moved from her childhood home in Westchester, to work as a nurse. That night, she had been drug out by her best friend, and fellow nurse, Eleanor. They had gone out with the other nurses, to, in Eleanor's words, find the eligible bachelors of the town.

Clara had been sitting by herself, all the other nurses having found suitable men to occupy their time, when he approached her. He wasn't the first man to approach her. But he was the first she didn't brush off.

"What's a pretty girl like you doing sitting here by yourself?" he asked

Clara turned around to look at the man standing next to her, he was tall, and muscular, with dark brown hair and light blue eyes. He was quite handsome, especially with that cheeky grin that graced his face. Clara would later admit, that it was his smile that had caught her attention. Had stopped her from brushing off his advances. There was something about the look in his eyes, that she just found so addictive.

"Trying to avoid the attention of leering men" she replied, raising her eyebrow at him

"I hope you're not including me in that" he said, taking the empty seat next to her, "I'm Bucky"

"Bucky" she said, "What kind of a name is that?"

"My names James Buchanan Barnes, that's where Bucky comes from" he explained, "What's your name?"

"Clara" she said extending her hand out to him, "Clara Lucille Howard"

"It's nice to meet you" he said, taking her hand in his, "Miss Howard"

Clara couldn't help the smile that came to her face, as he continued to shake her hand, well after the appropriate length of a hand shake.

"Are you going to let go?" She asked him, "Or just keep shaking my hand for the rest of the night?"

"Does that mean that you want to talk to me all night?" He asked, cocking his head as he released her hand from his grip

"If you prove yourself to be entertaining" she said, moving her hand to intertwine her fingers with her other hand, "I would hate to be stuck talking to a bore all night"

"Well, boring is not a word I would use to describe myself" he chuckled

"That's good" she said, laughing, "But, who would really describe themself as boring?" She asked, fiddling with her fingers, "I mean, that would be pretty self deprecating, because who would want to be boring, it's probably one of the worst things to be" she said, looking up to see him laughing at her, "I'm rambling, aren't I?" She asked, moving her fingers into her strawberry blonde hair, moving her curls to hide her face.

"Just passionate on the subject" he said, reaching out his hand to tuck her curls back behind her ear, causing a blush to rise in her cheeks, "I completely agree with you though. Being boring would be the worst"

"Well, at least you don't think you're boring" she said, turning to smile at him, "But, I wouldn't trust your own opinion" she said, "Self evaluations can be very bias"

"So, you think I'm boring?" He asked, but she could tell be the cocky grin on his face, that he already knew the answer

"I never said that" said Clara, "I meant, that not many people would really describe themself as boring" she explained, "Therefore, you can't really trust someone's opinion of themselves"

"Then what's your opinion of me?" He asked

"I haven't decided, yet" she said, "But you definitely aren't boring"

"Well, that's a start" he said, "I guess I just have to keep being not boring, until you agree to go on a date with me"

"A date?" She asked, "I don't even know you. I know your name, and that's it. I need to know more about you before I agree to anything"

"Alright then" he said, straightening up, acting like he had just accepted a challenge, "You already know my name, I am twenty four years old, and I have lived in Brooklyn all my life" he told her, "Your turn"

"My turn?" She asked

"I told you about myself" he said, "Now, you can tell me about yourself"

"There's not much to know" she said, "I am twenty one, I moved to Brooklyn three months ago to work as a nurse" she told him, "So, now we know just as much about each other"

"I'm sure there's more to know" he said, "And I'm going to enjoy learning more about you"

"How do you know I'm not boring?" She asked him,

"Just a feeling" he shrugged

"And do you always trust your gut instincts?" She asked, feeling her face heat up under his intense gaze, face reddening in a blush

"They haven't led me astray yet" he said, lifting up his hand, to gently brush his fingers against her cheek

Clara was awoken from her day dreaming when she heard a knock on the door. She let out a sigh, before walking to the door. She opened it to see Eleanor standing on the other side.

"You ready to go?" Asked Eleanor,

"Yeah, I've just gotta get my bag" she answered, grabbing her purse off of the kitchen counter, before stepping out of the apartment, closing the door behind her, "Let's go"

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"You're lucky we're friends" grumbled Eleanor, "Otherwise I wouldn't have come"

"Don't act like this is torture" said Clara, "He's really not that bad, he's just shy"

"You know I don't do shy" said Eleanor, flipping her blonde hair over her shoulder, "Besides, what do you have to complain about. It's Bucky's last night so you're sure to get some"

"Ellie" scolded Clara, knudgubg her friend as she spotted Bucky and Steve approaching them, "This was Bucky's idea, so blame him"

"Clara" called out Bucky, as they neared the pair

"Be nice" Clara warned Eleanor, who just rolled her eyes

"I'm always nice" said Eleanor

Clara scoffed, before walking up to meet Bucky, pressing a quick kiss on his lips. She moved her hand to intertwine with his.

"Steve" said Clara, as she led them over, "You remember Eleanor"

"It's nice to see you again" said Steve, sticking out his hand to her

"It is" said Eleanor, giving his hand a quick shake

They were wandered around the pavilions, Clara wasn't really paying attention to any of the displays. She was too caught up by Bucky.

"Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?" Asked Bucky, smiling down at her

"No" she said, smiling back at him, "I don't believe you have"

"Well then" he said, leaning down to kiss her cheek, "You are very beautiful"

They were interrupted from their moment, by the sound of gagging. Clara turned around to see Eleanor pretending to be sick.

"You two, make me sick" said Eleanor

Clara playfully hit her friend in the arm, a smile still on her face. No one could ruin her night.

"Come on" said Eleanor, grabbing onto Clara's arm, "It's starting"

Clara shook her head at her friend, as Eleanor pulled her over to the pavilion. She looked back to see Steve trailing after them, and felt sorry for him. She knew that him and Eleanor were not a good match, but all her other friends were either married or engaged. Eleanor was the only single one, and she planned to stay that way for awhile.

"Ladies and gentleman" said the announcer, "Mr Howard Stark"

Clara looked up at the stage, watching as a man walked out. He was dressed in a suit and hat, looking rather dashing. He took of his hat, handing it to the announcer. The man then pulled the woman over, planting a big kiss on her lips, before taking the microphone from her hands.

Clara rolled her eyes at his antics, but Eleanor seemed entranced by the man. Though, Eleanor was entranced by most men.

"Told you he was good looking" Eleanor whispered to Clara

"Stop" muttered Clara, shaking her head at her friend

Clara looked up at Bucky, who had his eyebrows raised, but a smirk on his face. She just rolled her eyes, before turning back to face the stage.

She had to admit, Howard Stark was attractive man. With his dark hair and eyes, though she wasn't too fond of the moustache. He had this, almost arrogant air about him, that Clara was sure captured many girls attention. She used to hate arrogant men, finding cockiness repulsive. But then she met Bucky, and she found her views changing. Eleanor had often noted how Clara's opinion of different men changed once she was with Bucky. She now loved his cockiness, and slightly arrogant nature.

"Ladies and gentlemen" said Mr Stark, "What if I told you, that in a few short years, your automobile won't even have to touch the ground at all"

The crowd gasped, as the assistants removed the wheels from the car, taking them over to the side.

"With Stark revitic reversion technology you'll be able to do just that" said Mr Stark, before flipping a switch and pulling a lever

Clara watched, as the car slowly began to move, hovering in the air.

"Holy cow" said Bucky

The car hung in the air for a few seconds, as Stark gave the audience a smug smile. But, then it began to spark, before coming crashing back to the ground.

"I did say a few years didn't I" said Mr Stark, as the audience began to clap

Clara looked over at Eleanor, to see her friend clapping away, staring up at Stark like he was the best thing since sliced bread.

"Hey Steve" said Bucky, "What do you say we treat these girls to..."

Clara turned around, to see that Steve had vanished. She scowled at Eleanor, but her friend was too busy fawning over Howard Stark to notice anything.

"Go find him" said Clara, "We'll be fine here"

"You sure?" Asked Bucky, but he was already begginning to walk away

Clara smiled at him, nodding her head, before turning back to her friend.

The pair of them walked around the exhibits, biding time until their dates returned. Or at least, Clara was. She was just itching for Bucky to come back. Eleanor, on the other hand, was not overly enjoying her date.

"Did you enjoy the show, ladies?" Asked a male voice

Clara turned around, and saw Howard Stark approaching them. Eleanor grabbed onto Clara's arm, squeezing her as she squealed.

"It was amazing" said Eleanor, "I don't know how you come up with these things"

"My mind wonders me too" said Stark, "What are your names?"

"Eleanor Marks" she answered

Clara was looking around the pavilions, trying to see if she could find Bucky amongst the sea of people. She was reminded of the others presence, when she felt Eleanor nudge her with her elbow.

"What?" She asked, turning back to them

"Distracted I see" said Stark, smirking at her, "What's your name, sweetcheeks?"

"Clara Barnes" she said, folding her arms across her chest, "And you need no introductions. I'd have to have been living under a rock not to know who you are"

"Is that a compliment?" He asked her, moving closer to them

"Hardly" she said, "Merely an observation"

"I'll still take that as I compliment" he smirked

Clara rolled her eyes at him, as Eleanor raised her eyebrows at her.

"So, Clara, Eleanor" said Stark, "What brings you here?"

"Mrs Barnes" she corrected

"We're on a double date" explained Eleanor, "Or at least, Clara's on a date, I'm just the third wheel"

"Oh stop whining" said Clara, "You know it wasn't my idea"

"Yes, I know what you would rather be doing with your husband" scoffed Eleanor

"Eleanor" she cried, "Don't talk about such private details in front of a stranger"

"It's okay" Stark chuckled, "I would love to know more private details about, Mrs Barnes', life"

Clara's eyes widened, as she raised an eyebrow at Stark. She opened her mouth to reply, but was interrupted by Bucky's reappearance.

"Ready to go?" Bucky asked them, slipping his arm around Clara's waist, eyeing Stark

"You must be Mr Barnes" said Stark, holding out his hand

"Bucky" he answered, shaking Stark's hand

Stark nodded at Bucky, before taking a step back, moving his gaze back to Clara and Eleanor.

"It was lovely meeting you, Eleanor" said Stark, "And you, Miss Barnes"

Eleanor smiled at Stark, but he kept his eyes on Clara, nodding at her, before turning and walking away. Clara frowned at him, before turning back to Bucky.

"Where's Steve?" She asked him

"He's headed home" said Bucky, "We said our goodbyes"

"Okay" she said, leaning her head against his chest

"I'll just stand here then" said Eleanor

"Oh, right" said Clara, realising that her friend was still there, "We'll drop you home"

"Thanks" muttered Eleanor

Bucky nodded to them, before he started walking back. Eleanor quickly grabbed onto Clara's arm, pulling her against her as they followed Bucky.

"Stark was flirting with you" she said, "Big time"

"No more then he probably flirts with every girl he meets" said Clara, "Besides, I'm married"

"Oh, stop taking the fun out of this" said Eleanor, "Everyone's married, I feel like an old maid"

Clara just laughed at her friend, shaking her head as they made their way through the crowd. She looked up at Bucky, who had his back to her, smiling as she thought of how much she loved him. And avoiding the thought of him going off to war.


	2. Chapter 2 - The Tearing Of Souls

_"The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected. Maybe they always have been and will be. Maybe we've lived a thousand lives before this one and in each of them we've found each other. And maybe each time, we've been forced apart for the same reasons. That means that this goodbye is both a goodbye for the past ten thousand years and a prelude to what will come." Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook_

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**Disclaimer: I don't own anything besides Clara, everything belongs to its rightful owners**

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**Chapter Two - The Tearing Of Souls**

_June 14th, 1943_

Bucky and Clara were quick to drop Eleanor home, all but kicking her out of the car. Wasting no time in their return home. They also wasted no time, in doing the very activity that Eleanor seemed intent on mentioning throughout the night.

They were now currently lyingon the bed, their sweaty limbs entangled. Clara had her head resting on his chest, as she traced patterns on his skin.

"I wish we could stay like this" she said, "I wish we could freeze, this moment, and live in it forever"

"But what about all the other moments" he asked, moving his hand to intertwine their fingers, "That we'll have when I come back"

"They're too far away" she sighed, "And you'd still have to leave"

"I wish I didn't" he said, "I want to stay here, with you"

"Life can be so unfair" mumbled Clara

"Yeah, it is"

They laid in silence, Clara just listening to the sound of Bucky's heartbeat. It was like a constant reminder, that Bucky was alive, that he was with her. If she just listened to his heartbeat, then she could forget all about him leaving, forget about the possibility of him never coming back.

"Do you remember when you proposed?" She asked him, "At Coney Island, after we were on the roller coaster"

"Yeah, after you threw up on my shoes" laughed Bucky

"I still can't believe that you did that" she said, "I ruined your shoes, and you still asked me to marry you"

"You didn't answer at first" said Bucky, "I thought you were gonna say no"

"You could've proposed the night we met, and I still probably would've said yes" she told him,

"Well, if I'd known that, I would've asked sooner" he said, "Might've properly asked your father first. I don't think he liked it when I mentioned it when we met"

"You asked him when you met him?" She asked, leaning up to look at him

"Not really, I just said I wanted to marry you" he explained, "Probably a good thing I didn't ask, he probably wouldn't have said yes"

"He likes you now, he was just being overprotective" said Clara, leaning her chin on his chest, "I have to say, meeting your family was much more enjoyable, then you meeting mine"

"Your dad was the only intimidating one, your brother tried to be, but I won him over" said Bucky, "Your mother loves me"

"Oh, you definitely charmed my mother and sister" she said, "I think my mother was hoping you'd propose to her"

"Don't worry, kissing your mother would be weird after kissing you"

"Ow" he said, after she playfully punched his arm, "That hurt"

"No it didn't" she said, "If it did, then I'm afraid you're not very tough, soldier"

"Oh, I'm not tough" he said, "And, who kills all of the spiders?"

"They're creepy, with their hairy legs" she said, "And when they're squished, it's disgusting"

"You're a nurse" said Bucky, "Shouldn't you have a stronger stomach"

"Well, your shoes tell a different story" she said,

"Well, they would, if you hadn't made me throw them out" said Bucky

"They made the apartment smell like vomit" said Clara, "I don't know how you put up with them"

"I almost divorced you on the spot" teased Bucky,

"And what stopped you?" She asked

"Uh..." He said, his eyes traveling down her body, "I think you can guess"

"So, it wasn't my amazing personality" she said, "It was all my body, I feel so used"

"But in a good way"

Clara just shook her head at her husband's immaturity, finding it amusing none the less. She turned her head, to look out into the open window, the cool summer breeze blowing the curtains.

It was surprising to her, how fast she fell into a routine with Bucky. Living with him wasn't as difficult as her mother made out it would be. No, everything with Bucky was easy; sure they fought, but most of their fights were small, barely even a bump in the road. There was only ever one major argument, and it was a memory she'd rather not dwell on. That disagreement has just been the tip of the iceberg, that was those eventful few days with her family.

"Would you really have said yes if I proposed to you the night we met?" He asked her, "Because, the way I remember it, I had to coax you into going on a date with me"

"I was playing coy" she explained, "I probably wouldn't have said yes, I was far too logical then, before love went and confused me. But, I think, I started falling in love with you that night"

"So, my charms really did work" he grinned

"More or less" she muttered, "At least my father's side of the family not insane"

"I don't know about your cousin Stella" said Bucky, "She's...something"

"You know, most men that say that about her, have spent illicit nights with her" she said, "Is there something you need to tell me?"

"Of the many, many, woman that I have charmed" he teased, moving so that his body was hovering over hers, his face inches from her own, "Your cousin is not one of them"

"You think you're so funny" she said, raising her eyebrow at him, but she grinned as she wrapped her arms around his neck,

"I really do" he said, "But don't worry, you're the only one that finds me funny. Well, besides Steve"

"I guess I'm just the lucky one" she said, "Maybe I should've been more serious. You were the one that told me to laugh more, after all"

"No, I like you just the way you are" he said, "Seriousness and all"

"And I like you" she said, moving her hands to his cheek, her thumb stroking his skin, "Poor humour and all"

"Good" he replied, "Because you won't be getting rid of me easily"

"Oh, I don't plan on even trying" she promised, her smile falling from her lips, "You better come back to me. Or else"

"Don't worry, if I die, you can kill me" he joked, "You are a damn good shot, after all"

"I'm serious" she said, "I...I, I don't know how I would survive without you. Losing you, would be like losing a part of myself"

"You're not going to loose me" he promised, leaning his forehead against hers, "I will never leave you. Not even if you want me to"

"I would never want that" she said, "I love you too much"

"I love you too" he said, before capturing her lips in a kiss. All thoughts of war and death, dissapeared with the feeling of Bucky's lips against hers. And so, they continued on into another round of love making.

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The next day, Clara had been reluctant to leave the comfort of their warm bed, she was even more reluctant to dress, and finally face the truth. She'd prefer to pretend like it was just another perfect night together. But alas, the rising of the sun brought with it the truth of their predicament. And Clara found she could no longer hide from the truth.

No words came from Clara's mouth, as her brother arrived to pick them up. Nate greeted Bucky, a solemn expression on his face. There was no conversation during the car ride, Clara feared that if she spoke, she would simply burst out into tears. And neither Nate, nor Bucky, knew what to say.

When they reached the harbour, and the ship came into view, Clara felt like she could not breathe. Like she was trapped underwater, and no matter how much she struggled, she couldn't reach the surface. She wondered, if this was what it would be like while Bucky was fighting. If this was what it felt like to be constantly worried about your loved one's safety.

Breath was brought back to her by the sound of Bucky's voice, it was like he had pulled her out of the water, breathing life into her.

"Clara" said Bucky, picking up his bag from the boot of the car, "I gotta go"

"Please, don't" she murmured, keeping her eyes on the ground, as tears welled in them. She would not cry, not in front of him.

"I have to" he replied, pulling her against his chest

Clara instantly wrapped her arms around him, burying her head in his chest. He used his free hand to stroke her hair, whispering sweet nothings in her ear.

"I'll be back before you know it" he told her, "You won't even have time to miss me"

"I miss you already"

"Even my bad sense of humour?" He asked

"Yes, even that" she chuckled, "I love you, so much"

"I know" he said, "I would love me too"

"You're not funny" she said, shaking her head at his attempts to lighten the mood

"So you tell me" he said, as she raised her head to look at him, "I love you, Clara Howard"

"Barnes" she whispered, "Clara Barnes"

"I love you Mrs Clara Lucille Barnes" he grinned down at her, moving his hand to her cheek

"And I love you, Mr James Buchanan Barnes"

They smiled at each other, before Bucky pulled her into a gut wrenching kiss. Clara pulled at the hair on the back of his head, to pull him closer. He dropped his bag into the ground, wrapping his arms around her waist, pulling her up so that she was closer to his height, Clara standing on her tippy toes. Clara was reluctant to let him go, even when she heard the whistle signalling him to board the ship. She wanted the kiss to last forever. She wanted to savour the kiss, she knew it would be the last one they would share in awhile.

"Clara" said Bucky, pulling his lips from hers, but resting his forehead against hers, "I love you, and I don't want you to worry"

"How can I not worry?" She asked, a single tear falling down her cheek

"I'll be back before you know it, and we'll write" he said, "This isn't goodbye"

"There's a letter in your bag, read it when you get on the ship" she told him, moving her hand into his, "I love you"

Bucky pecked her on the lips, before picking his bag up from the ground, swinging it over his shoulder. Nate took a step towards them, and Bucky dropped Clara's hand, to shake Nate's outstretched one.

""Good luck" said Nate, "Come back soon"

"I'll try" said Bucky

A knowing look passed between the two of them, before both their gazes turned to Clara. She kept her own gaze on Bucky, taking in his every detail, memorising his movements. Bucky pulled her into his arms, for one last hug. Clara sniffed, as she swallowed the lump in her throat.

Her heart ached as he let go of her, pressing a kiss to her forehead, before taking a few steps away from her. She had to fight her instinct to pull him back to her, as she kept her eyes glued to his retreating figure.

Everything after that was a blur. She barely noticed her brother's arms around her, or him guiding her to the car. Nate didn't speak until they got back to the apartment, just kept throwing her concerned glances. She just kept replying their goodbye in her head. Every word, every look, every touch.

"Do you want me to come up with you?" Nate asked her, pulling her back to the real world

"No" she muttered, shaking her head, "I'll be fine"

"You sure?" He asked, raising an eyebrow at her

Clara nodded weakly at him, he was clearly not satisfied, but knew that forcing her would result in nothing. She was always stubborn, even when they were children.

Nate nodded at her, and she managed a half smile, "Thank you" she said, nodding at him before getting out of the car

Clara managed to get all the way inside the apartment, the realisation of Bucky's departure only sinking in, when she saw the picture of their wedding day, on the mantle in the living room. She let out a gasp, as the tears began to pour from her eyes, like a storm cloud finally releasing it's rain.

She let out a loud thump, as she collapsed onto the ground, leaning her back against the wall, clutching the picture frame in her hands. Her tears fell down onto the glass of the frame, and she quickly wiped them off. She hugged the picture tightly to her chest, letting out a whimper. She didn't know how she would manage without Bucky, she already felt as if her heart has been ripped straight from her chest.

Goodbyes had never been this painful to her. But this time, it was different. This time, it was a part of her that was leaving. And Bucky was, a part of her. He was woven into the intricates of her very soul. They weren't two separate beings. They were one soul, two souls that had always been destined to find one another. Him leaving, was like having her soul ripped in two. She wouldn't be whole until Bucky was back, until she could feel his arms around her, hear his heart beat in rhythm with hers. She needed him back. She needed him back now.

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**A bit shorter then last time, but don't worry, this will not be the last time they see each other. We found out more about teir past, and Clara's family. You'll get to meet another family member next chapter. Please review and tell me what you think of this chapter, and what you think will be in next chapter.**


	3. Chapter 3 - Shakespearean Tragedies

_"__Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage."_

_Lao Tzu_

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**Chapter Three - Shakespearean Tragedies**

It had been a week since Bucky's departure, and the silence was still unsettling to Clara. Silence was an unfamiliar notion to her. Growing up, she had always had her siblings, her brother and his unruly friends always making a ruckus. Things had been quieter when her brother moved out, but her younger sister was enough to fill the void.

Even after she moved out, she had lived with the other nurses. Her mother had insisted it, not wanting her el dest daughter to be alone in Brooklyn. Well, that was what she had said. In reality, Clara's grandmother had convinced Matilda that if Clara was left to her own devices, that she would be tempted to...'sully' the family name. Catherine already considered her granddaughter to be an embarrassment to the family, although, the criteria she based that on, was the fact that Clara hadn't married the rich eligible bachelors Catherine had thrown at her, and started popping out children as soon as the vows were said.

Clara was not saddened by her grandmother's opinion. She much preferred the way her life had panned out. She couldn't imagine her life without Bucky. It surely could not be a happy one.

The pictures on the wall and mantle had all been passed without so much as a glance. She had resolved herself not to look at them, knowing that if she even caught the sight of them in the corner of her eye, she would be unable to do anything but stare at them for hours. No, she still longed for Bucky's presence. She still expected to wake up in his arms, to see his face staring back at her in the morning light. She had never thought he looked more beautiful, then he did when he was asleep. She needed to see his face again. She didn't know how much longer she could take this. This incessant worrying, constantly etching away at her. Like an itch you couldn't scratch. She needed to know that he was safe, that he was okay, and that he would always be safe. But those wishes were naive. A soldier's safety was never guaranteed.

"Clara" a voice demanded from the other side of the door, "Clara, are you there?"

She put the knife she was using to chop vegetables down onto the chopping board, brushing her hands off on her dress before making her way to the door. Clara took a moment to compose herself, before reaching out and pulling the door open.

"Oh, Clara" said her sister, pulling Clara into a hug, "It is wonderful to see you again. I am so sorry about Bucky, I really am"

Daisy-Jane looked much the same as she had the last time they had seen each other, at Clara's wedding. Her inky black hair fell in slightly longer curls around her shoulders, her pale skin had slightly tanned over the summer, but would no doubt loose it's colour during the winter months, her eyes remained a light blue, still holding a bright childish spark within them. Daisy shared Clara's high cheekbones and thick lips, but while Clara's face was oval and slender, Daisy's was heart shaped with a pointed chin. Daisy was also about two inches shorter then Clara, with a slightly larger bust and hips, but she was by no means extremely well endowed. Daisy looked quite similar to their older brother, both having taken after their father. Clara, however, had taken after her mother's side of the family, her grandmother in particular. Their similarities in looks did nothing but invoke more ire in Clara.

"Thank you" muttered Clara, pulling away from her sister, closing the door behind them

"I'm so sorry that I haven't come sooner" she said, dumping her bag down on the lounge before collapsing down onto it, "But I was with Gran, and she wasn't in very good health, and I couldn't just leave her"

Clara held in her scoff, she was sure that her grandmother would never die, she would forever be around to harass and bully her family.

"I'm sure" she nodded, managing a half smile, "How have you been?"

"Splendid, there's this very handsome man that lives near Gran" Daisy gushed, leaning forward on her seat, "He's a charming fellow, came with us to Church. He's a lawyer, quite smart"

"Is Gran trying to sell you off already?" Clara asked, "You're only nineteen"

"Oh, I'm hardly thinking of marriage right now, no" Daisy assured her, "But, if the right man came along"

"And this lawyer's the right man?"

"Arthur might be" said Daisy

Clara just nodded, knowing that her sister's latest infatuation would soon pass, like her other attractions, this too would be fleeting. She was comforted by this knowledge, as she seriously doubted that anyone Catherine picked for Daisy would actually suit her.

"But Clara, how have you been?" Asked Daisy

"Terrific, my husband's been shipped off to war" she spat out, "I've been doing nothing but cleaning for the past few days just to keep me busy, and I can't even cook because all of my friends have stacked me up with enough meals to last me weeks" she yelled, "So, yeah, other then that, I'm fantastic"

"It was a stupid question" mumbled Daisy, looking down into her lap, "I shouldn't have asked"

"No" sighed Clara, hating the downtrodden expression on her sister's face, "I shouldn't have yelled. I'm just...stressed"

"And you have every right to be" said Daisy, reaching over to put her hands on top of Clara's, "You being angry is completely understandable"

"I'm not angry" she muttered, "I'm...scared. I...I'm scared that Bucky won't come home"

"He will" assured Daisy, "He loves you far too much not to. A love like this doesn't end in death. This isn't a Shakespearean tragedy"

"And here I thought you loved drama" chuckled Clara, getting up from the couch, "Would you like anything to eat or drink?"

"I'd love..." She started, but trailed off as she noticed a piece of paper lying on the coffee table, "What's this?"

"Nothing" Clara mumbled, looking down at her feet, but her sister was not having it

"Really, nothing?" Asked Daisy, standing up and folding her arms over her chest, "Because, it looks like a pamphlet for the army nurses to me. Please don't tell me you plan on joining"

"I'm not, I might be, I don't know" she said

"Clara" groaned Daisy, "I know that you miss Bucky, but that doesn't mean that you have to go off to war"

"This isn't about Bucky" exclaimed Clara, "I was planning on doing this before, and Bucky was much more supportive. I want to do this, not for Bucky, for me"

"You're not going to change your mind" said Daisy, "Are you?"

"I haven't decided if I'm even going to join yet" Clara mumbled,

"But you're seriously considering it" said Daisy

"Yes" said Clara,

"I guess this really is a Shakespearean tragedy" said Daisy, "If only you were still engaged to Richard when you met Bucky, then you really would be star crossed lovers. Well, moreso then you already are"

"Please, let's not talk about Richard" she begged, not wanting to think back on that argument with Bucky, "I'd rather not be reminded of him"

"And you call me dramatic" said Daisy, plonking herself back down onto the couch, "He really wasn't as bad as you say"

"Well, he wasn't by any means good" exclaimed Clara, "But, please, I don't want to discuss that whole mess. It'll only dampen my mood further"

"Hmph" said Daisy, her eyes roaming over the apartment. She had always thought that it was far too small, and in comparison to their childhood home, it was small. But Clara loved it. It was homely, and comfortable, and safe. She didn't need a mansion, not when she had Bucky. Daisy's face was blank, to hide her obvious dislike of her surroundings, but Clara could always read her sister like a book

"Gran wants you to visit" she said, causing Clara to groan, "Clara, don't be like that. Mum wants you to come home too, she's worried, we all are"

"She's always worried" said Clara, "I'm fine. Besides, I can't just up and leave, now can I"

"Sure you can, we both know you only moved to Brooklyn to get away" said Daisy, "And you only stayed for Bucky. Just, come home, be with your family" she begged, "I feel like I never see you"

"Please, Daisy, I can't" she said, "I need to do it on my own. I'll be fine"

"Fine" she said, "But just know, that you're breaking our dear mother's heart"

Clara just rolled her eyes at her sister's dramatics, too accustomed to it, to be surprised. Nothing was ever simple with Daisy. She had often said that simple was too boring for her. Entertainment was what she needed. And she found hers through exaggeration.

Daisy soon dropped the topic of Clara returning home, not again mentioning anything to do with the war. Though, Clara was sure that she would run and tell their mother at the first possible opportunity. Clara knew that her heart was on the right place, it always was, but that didn't mean that she had to like Daisy stooping to tattle tailing to their mother to stop her from going overseas.

"How are mum and dad?" Clara inquired

"Same old, same old" Daisy shrugged, "Mum's still clucky over Sarah, our little niece is still the apple of our eye. You're probably lucky that Bucky's gone"

"And why's that?"

"Because otherwise she'd be pestering the two of you to start giving her grandchildren" explained Daisy, "You're not pregnant, are you?"

"No, I'm not" said Clara, "But, by the sounds of it, she might just be willing to sell you off in exchange for grandchildren"

"Don't tell her that, she might just do it" said Daisy

Their conversation continued on, as Daisy joined her sister for dinner, and then invited herself to stay the night. Clara secretly overjoyed by her sisters company, she would finally not have to spend a night alone in her eerie apartment. She had never thought the apartment to be empty, it had always been filled with her and Bucky's voices. Their laughs, their shouts, the sounds of their love. It was empty without him. No one there to fill the silence.

Daisy had slept in the spare bedroom, not wanting to sleep where Bucky slept. The idea of what her sister and brother-in-law had done it that bed was something that she did not want to imagine.

Clara's joy was over, when she climbed into her empty bed, no arms to wrap around her, no body to keep her warm. She was reminded how alone she felt. She felt powerless, and she hated it.

Bucky had made her vulnerable. He made her love him. She opened her heart up to him, and now she didn't know how to close it. And what if, while the door to her soul was open, unprotected and exposed, something snuck inside. What if grief, anger, sorrow, weaseled their way inside of her. And, like a wound, they festered. Spreading like a disease, until it took over her. What if, they took control, and she was no longer herself. Clara did not want to loose herself, she liked who she was far too much. No, she needed to harden herself. To learn to protect her open heart. Because, if Bucky never returned, she feared the blackening of her soul, would be something that she could not stop.

So she wrapped her own arms around herself, she would keep herself warm. She would keep herself strong. Not for Bucky, or her sister, or mother, or anyone. But for herself. She would not fall apart. She would not loose herself. She would be her own source of strength. She would soldier on. Bucky would come back to her, and she will not have changed. She will not have let anything into her heart. She would steel herself. She will not have given into pain, and longing. No. Clara was strong. She would be strong.

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**This is the letter that Clara gave to Bucky, I forgot to include it in the last chapter. His reply will be in the next chapter.**

_Dear Bucky,_

_Even as I write this, I still cannot comprehend the fact that you will be leaving. You have been a constant in my life for too long, for me to be able to even attempt to imagine life without you. Worry for you is already eating away at me, and you haven't even left yet. But I don't want to tell you of these things, because I do not want you to worry about me, as I worry about you. It seems awfully redundant to me, so I think we should leave our worries unsaid. Even though you have nothing to worry over, I now you still will, but I will be fine. And I can only hope that you will also be fine._

_My feelings for you are ineffable, words would simply do them no justice. Our love is a powerful force, one that has been pulling at me since the moment I laid eyes on you. I know how much you mock me for my belief, but I do believe that everything happens for a reason. We were tied together by fate, forever destined to be together. And I don't know what the future holds for us. But I know, that there is no one else in the world I would rather be with. You are my one true love._

_I will miss our little rituals, and routines. How, at breakfast, you pretend to read the paper but you're always stealing glances at me. I will miss the way our hearts beat in unison, as we lay together, chest to chest. I will miss the way you look at me, like I'm the most exquisite thing you have ever seen. I will miss the glint in your eyes, and your cocky grin, that infuriates me just as much as it amuses me._

_Stay safe. _

_Love, Clara_

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**So, what do you think about Daisy? Please, share your thoughts, I love to hear your opinions. Hope you all enjoyed this chapter. **


	4. Chapter 4 - It's A Family Affair

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything; everything belongs to its rightful owners**

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_"If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance." George Bernard Shaw, Immaturity_

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**Chapter Four - It's A Family Affair**

Daisy-Jane had left for home the next day, obviously eager to return to familiar settings, giving Clara a rushed goodbye, and a promise to stay in contact. She hadn't mention anything about the army nursing, but Clara had the sneaking suspicion that she had immediately spilled her guts to their mother. Seeing that, a few days after Daisy's visit, Matilda called Clara, begging for her daughter to come home. The pleading worked, as Clara was now travelling towards her childhood home. Her stomach rumbled as the taxi plotted along, and she wished that she had eaten the food that Bucky's mother had dropped off the day before when she visited. But she had been too nervous to think about stomaching even the tiniest piece of toast.

Visits home had never brought much joy to Clara in the years she had spent in Brooklyn. It was not so much her immediate family, she loved her parents and siblings quite dearly, but rather, it was her grandmother and aunt's presence that she quite loathed. Neither of them were very pleasant women, at least, not to Clara. She had often wondered how Matilda turned out to be so kind, with a mother like Catherine. Everyone attested this to her father's influence; even Matilda herself admitted that he mother could be quite horrible.

Clara stared out the windows, watching the scenery fly by her; it was familiar, and yet unfamiliar at the same time. Like she was remembering a dream, a past life that was not really hers, a long forgotten memory. As the car pulled into the driveway, Clara felt like butterflies had been let loose in her stomach, and were now bouncing around inside of her. The taxi driver opened the door for her, and she smiled graciously at him, before he moved to get her bag out of the back of the car. She had wanted to drive, but her mother had insisted that she take a taxi. She suspected that this was to deprive her of means of escape.

The driver handed Clara her bag, her eye moving up to gaze at the sight of her childhood home. It was a large and grandeur house, having belonged to Matilda's father's family, it would have been inherited by the eldest male, but the lack of a son meant that Matilda had inherited the house. It was a two-storey, Victorian style house that had been built in the last century, and passed down through the family. Everything was in impeccable condition, from the light paint to the spotless windows. Even the flowerbeds looked freshly pruned. Clara knew that this attention to detail was not for her. The only person that was ever this particular about the orderliness of the house, was Catherine.

Clara was pulled from her observations, when her mother burst out of the front door, and hurried towards her eldest daughter. Matilda was a short woman, a few inches shorter then Clara, closer in height to Daisy, who had slightly rounded over the years, but was by no means overweight. She had tanned skin, with mousy brown hair that was curled today, but normally had a natural frizz to it. She had a kind heart shaped face that Daisy had inherited, large light brown eyes, and a button nose.

Matilda immediately pulled Clara into a hug, beaming down at her, as if she had not seen her in years. "Oh Clara" she exclaimed, "It's wonderful to see you"

"You too" said Clara, smiling back up at her mother,

"Here, take your bag inside, I'll pay for the taxi" said her mother, holding up her hand when Clara began to protest, "Go inside, I readied your room for you"

Clara nodded to her mother, pulling her back with her towards the house. She walked through the open door, and up the stairs, walking a little bit further down the hallways, until she stopped in front of her room. Clara slowly reached up for the doorknob, turning it, and opening the door to her room.

Her bedroom had not been changed since she moved to Brooklyn; the quilt her aunt Sadie had made her still lay on her double bed, the bookshelf was still full of worn books that her father had given her, her desk was once scattered with various sketches (but Clara had put them away the last time she was there), now was bare.

She dropped her bag onto the bed, pulling out the letter from Bucky that had arrived this morning, and laying it down on the desk. She wanted to wait to read it, until later tonight, after she had gotten used to being back home. She moved over to the bookshelf, running her fingers along the binds, pulling out her copy of Pride and Prejudice; it was given to her by her second cousin, Vislet, as a birthday present many years ago. The pages were worn, and there was even a tea stain on one of the pages. Daisy had always thought Bucky to be quite similar to Mr. Darcy (though, she had never read the book herself). She heard her mother calling her down, and sighing, she slipped the book back into it's original place, giving the room one last glance, before heading back downstairs.

Clara walked towards the stairs, and was greeted with the sight of her father in the foyer. Edward was a tall man, especially in comparison to his wife, lean, if not a bit gangly, with skin only slightly darker then Clara's. His dark black hair was neatly combed to the side; his inviting eyes were a warm chocolate brown, which lit up at the sight of his daughter.

"Daddy" said Clara, speeding down the stairs and running into Edward's open arms

"Oh, Clara, it's good to see you again" he said, tightly returning her hug, "How long have you been here?"

"Just got here"

"Same" said Edward, "Your grandmother insisted that I take her and Daisy to the markets, and you know how persistent she can be"

Clara's mood instantly plummeted at the confirmation of her grandmother's presence. Her father gave her a sympathetic smile, love was not lost between the two of them either.

"Come on" he said, stepping towards the living room, "If we don't go, she'll hunt us down"

Clara inwardly groaned as she followed Edward into the living, a fake smile spreading on her face as her grandmother came into view. Catherine turned to her granddaughter, her eyes locking onto her, like a predator with its prey. Clara looked very similar to her granddaughter, like an older version. Her pale skin, had wrinkled, but appeared more youthful then many her age. Her hair, a mix strawberry blonde strands with flecks of grey, was pinned up on her head. Her eyes were a stony grey, that pierced your very soul. Her face was pulled into a stern frown, like there was a bad smell in the air.

"Clara, how are you my dear?" Asked Catherine, but she did not smile,

"Good" she replied curtly, "You?"

"I am quite good" said Catherine, "Glad to be visiting my family"

"As am I" she said

"Really, that's not what I heard" said Catherine, and Clara prepared herself for a scolding, "I heard, that Matilda had to beg for you to come home. I have to say, I do not understand your persistence to stay in the city, especially with your husband gone. I, myself, would've returned home to my family"

Clara stopped herself from snapping at her grandmother how she didn't need her family, knowing that inciting a row with her grandmother never ended well. Instead, she nodded obediently, pretending to take on her grandmother's advice. Catherine did not look convinced, but did not push the subject, turning her attention to her favoured granddaughter. Clara had always been glad that Daisy was the receiving of Catherine's attention, but couldn't help being perturbed by her grandmother's lack of affection. Though, she supposed, you couldn't miss something you never had. And Catherine had always regarded Clara to be an utter disappointment.

"That's preposterous, a fanciful tale" said Catherine, Clara only just tuning in to what they were saying, "Super soldiers, the only thing I've ever heard as impossible as that, were my mother's stories of blue angels from the Heavens"

"I always liked those stories" said Matilda, "Aunty Izzy used to tell me them all the time. I told you two them as bedtime stories" she said, nodding towards Clara and Daisy

Catherind rolled her eyes at the mention of her sister, but despite this, Clara had seen the affection Catherine showed her younger sister. Isaline was one of the few people that Catherine was kind to. But Catherine was a realistic person, fairy tales and strange stories were of no interest to her.

"A bunch of nonsense, I can assure you"

"I don't know, Arthur told me that his father said it was true" said Daisy, "And he's friends with some very powerful men"

"What are they talking about?" Clara whispered to her father

"Captain America" said Edward, handing her the newspaper

Clara frowned at him, as she took the newspaper, her eyes moving to the front cover. And there, was a picture on the front, of a man that she recognised very well. Only, it wasn't him, or at least, not what he looked like when she had last seen him. It was Steve Rogers, but a new Steve Rogers. One that was tall, and muscular, and the complete opposite of what he had been. Clara blinked a few times, as if she expected the picture to change. It didn't, of course.

"What is it?" Asked Edward

"I know him" said Clara, pointing at the picture, "At least, I think I do"

"How could you possibly know him?" Asked Catherine, who has evidently been listening to their conversation

"He's Steve, you know, Bucky's best friend" she explained, but they all remained puzzled, "Best man at my wedding"

"Oh, the scrawny one?" Asked Daisy

"Well, he's not scrawny anymore" said Edward, "Guess it's not nonsense after all"

Catherine narrowed her eyes at her son-in-law, pursuing her lips, but saying nothing.

Clara felt slightly ashamed that she hadn't spoken to Steve, she had just been so caught up in herself, she had completely forgotten about him. She couldn't believe that she hadn't even considered Steve. Not once.

"Did you know about this?" Catherine asked her

"No, I haven't spoken to Steve in awhile" said Clara

Catherine muttered something under her breath in French, and Clara caugh the words _incompétent_ and _inutile_, meaning incompetent and useless. Matilda had not heard her mother, Daisy had, and her face was frowning in concentration as she struggled to translate her grandmother's words. Clara was the only one of her siblings that has excelled at French. It was the only thing disappointed Catherine about Daisy and Nate. After all, it had been Catherine's idea that Matilda teach them. Catherine had taught both Matilda and Audrey as children, having herself learnt from her French mother. Danique had met Catherine's father when he was visiting France, and they were married soon after, her moving to America with him. Danique had died when her children were barely teenagers, giving birth to a stillborn son. Clara had only recently learned this, Catherine rarely spoke about her parents, and when she did, it was not in great lengths or details.

Edward placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, he had not heard Catherine, and even if he had he wouldn't have understood. Daisy and Nate had inherited their fathers lack of talent with languages. He had, however, picked up on a few words and phrases from his wife. Clara was the only one that Matilda could converse in French with, this communication a source of minor jealousy and annoyance for Daisy.

"What's he doing now?" Edward asked, trying to draw Clara's attention away from Catherine

"Promotional tours" said Clara, her eyes scanning the article, "Seems to be quite the hit"

Both Clara and Edward looked up to Catherine, waiting for a comment to be made, but she said nothing. Instead, it was Daisy who spoke, having given up on figuring out the French that Catherine had spoke.

"What's he promoting?"

"Bonds" shrugged Clara, "Don't know how they convinced him to do it, he was always quite eager to fight overseas"

"Who would be eager to fight overseas?" Asked Daisy

Matilda gasped, both her and her husband immediately scolding their daughter, but it was Catherine's reaction that shocked Clara too much to properly process what Daisy had said. Catherine was glaring at Daisy, her look so fierce, that Clara wouldn't be surprised if she started growling.

"Oh, Clara, I'm so sorry" she said, realisation spreading over both their faces, "I didn't mean it like that, you know I wouldn't say anything against Bucky, I'm sure he had his reasons"

"I know...I know" muttered Clara, her eyes moving down to her feet, "Uh...e-excuse me"

Clara quickly got to her feet, running up the stairs and into her room, locking the door behind her. She collapsed down against her bed, pulling her knees to her chest, but no tears would come. Her sadness had been replaced by anger. Anger at Bucky for leaving her. Anger at herself for letting him. Angry at the whole world for the war that had torn her husband away from her.

Clara grabbed the letter from the desk, tearing it open. She needed to read Bucky's words, to hear his voice playing in her head.

_Dear Clara, _

_I miss you too, training is alright, but sleeping in a bunk can't compare to sleeping next to you. I wish the war would end now so I could come home to you. I hope you're doing okay, don't miss me too much, I'll be back before you know it. I know that you'll still worry anyway though. I'd tell you to stay safe, but I know that you'll just do whatever you want anyway. Besides, you were always the cautious one, I've never had to worry about you._

_Love, Bucky_

Despite his short message, it was enough for Clara. Just reading his words, made her feel like he was there with her, and that was all she needed. She could survive this time without him.

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**There was a big hint in there about future events, that tie in with the marvel universe. Hope you can figure it out. The French was curtesy of Google translate, so don't hold me to its credibility. If anyone does know French and can see any problems, please tell me. Also, I probably won't be updating anytime soon as I am going on holidays, but I promise an update when I come back. Next chapter you'll meet Clara's aunt.**


	5. Chapter 5 - Choices

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything, everything belongs to it's rightful owners.**

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**I'm sorry about the break. I was on holidays, then I got caught up with school, and by then I had lost my muse. But I promise, I have not given up on this story, and I hope you haven't either. **

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_"We all make choices, but in the end our choices make us."_

_Ken Levine_

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**Chapter Five - Choices**

Clara had been reclusive for the past few days, Matilda excusing her behaviour due to Bucky's departure. But in reality, she was just avoiding her grandmother. But it seemed she could no longer spend her days locked in her room reading. As, her aunt had decided to visit. Of course, Clara had not learned this until she was being called down to greet her.

Audrey Bell was a slightly woman, of average height, but great beauty. Her thick strawberry blonde hair hung around her pale face in soft curls, her light blue eyes sharp, holding a coldness within them that both entranced and repelled men from her. You would not be mistaken for thinking that she and Clara were sisters, given that Clara had inherited her grandmother's beauty, just as Audrey had.

This beauty, and her willingness to use it to her advantage, was what caused strife between Matilda and her younger sister. Audrey relied on her beauty to get what she wanted, manipulating others at a mere whim, for nothing more then entertainment.

Or maybe it was her viper tongue, which spat out such cruelties, that it would make even the strongest person crumble in a fit of tears. Matilda hated the way that Audrey found joy in tearing down others, treating it as a sport.

Her husband, Jonathan, was a cold man, all hard stares and steely expressions. Since Clara met him, almost seven years ago, she didn't think she'd ever seen him smile. Sometimes she could see his eyes soften, when he looked at his wife, or two young children. But it was gone in the blink of an eye, and Clara was left wondering, if her uncle felt anything at all.

"Clara" said Audrey, outstretching her arms, "It's been so long"

'_Not long enough_', Clara thought to herself, as she hugged her aunt back, knowing that whatever sentiments Audrey was showing her, were nothing but a facade. A mask to hide the snake underneath.

"It's nice to see you again" said Clara, faking a smile

Clara quickly moved away from Audrey, who didn't seem to notice as she had already moved her attention towards her sister.

"Mattie" said Audrey, "Oh, how I've missed my big sister"

"I've missed you too" said Matilda, but the smile didn't quite reach her eyes, "How have you been?"

"Good, busy as ever" said Audrey, taking off her hat and handing it to Nellie, "I'm sorry about not being able to make it to your wedding" she said, turning to Clara, "But Jonathan was just so busy with work, we couldn't possibly come"

"That's okay" said Clara, "It was a small thing, just close family friends. I'm sure Jonathan's work was much more interesting"

"Nonsense" said Audrey, pretending to ignore the bite in Clara's tone, but her smile noticeably tightened, "I was very disappointed, I sincerely wanted to meet the man that you have fallen so deeply in love with" she said, raising her eyebrows as she looked around, "So, where is he?"

"Currently he is overseas" explained Clara, "Fighting"

"A noble thing" said Audrey, "Fighting for his country. Hopefully he will return home soon"

"Hopefully" Clara replied, not willing to accept her Aunt's fake sympathy. She knew that Audrey's absence from her wedding had nothing to do with Jonathan's work, but rather, her displeasure in Clara's choice of husband.

She was glad when her father struck up a conversation with Jonathan about his job, creating enough of a distraction for Clara to slink away to the back porch. She was so eager to be away from them, that she did not notice her grandmother's presence on the porch until she was already out there, with no way to escape.

"I thought you'd want to see your darling daughter?" Clara asked her, "Join in with the passive aggressive remarks about my husband"

"He's beneath you" Catherine stated, not even looking at Clara from her spot in the chair

"He's a good man" Clara retorted, sick of the same argument that only got more pathetic the more it was used

"I don't deny it" said Catherine

"He loves me" said Clara, turning her back to her grandmother, which is more then I can say for you"

"I do this because I love you" said Catherine, and Clara knew she was telling the truth, in the way that she at least believed what she was saying, "He can't look after you, not in the way men of our status can"

"I don't need any of that" she spat, "He makes me happy in a way no other man ever could"

"I'm sure, that had you tried, you would have found another" said Catherine, "One that you loved, but that could also provide for you, give you the life you are accustomed to"

"There's no one else" said Clara, "There will never be anyone else. Only Bucky"

Her words shocked Catherine, but the honesty in her eyes frightened her more. Catherine had thought that her marriage was just a rebellious act, that Clara would soon see the error of her ways and come crawling back to her family, beg them to forget all about her indiscretions. But she now saw, that what she had thought was infatuation ran much deeper. It was devotion, not some minor attachment or fondness. The depth of Clara's feelings might have comforted others, but it brought more concern to Catherine.

"And what if he doesn't come home?" Asked Catherine

"He will" she whispered, more of an assurance to herself then to her grandmother, and Catherine's eyes softened as she looked at Clara, pitying her unfortunate situation

* * *

Clara avoided her family for the rest of the day, by retreating back into her room, to stare at a blank page and mull over what to include in her letter.

_Dear Bucky,_

_I've been staying with my family for the past few days, it's good to spend time with them, I haven't spent much time with them since we got married. I just wanted to spend all of my time with you. I still wish to spend all of my time with you, and survive only on the thought of you, of your arms around me, your lips on mine. I know that we will be together again soon, this war cannot last forever._

_I am thinking of joining the army nurses, like we talked about before you left. My family don't want me to, but I can't stand the thought of being stuck here doing nothing whilst you're over there risking your life. This inactivity is killing me, I need to be doing something, I need to be productive._

_But enough about me, what about you? How are you doing? I hope you're well. How's training? God, I have so many questions for you, but now I'm rambling. I know you will be okay, you're tough. Remember how much I love you, let that give you encouragement to hurry up and end this war._

_Love, Clara_

She finished off the letter, just as she heard her name being called by her mother. The letter was left on the desk, as Clara made her way downstairs.

"It's Eleanor on the phone for you" her mother told her

"Thanks" she muttered, picking up the phone, "Hello"

"_Hey doll, how are things with your family?_" Asked Eleanor

"Good" she muttered, "I guess"

"_And how are you?_"

"As fine as I can be" said Clara, "What about you? How's...I'm sorry I forgot your latest fling's name"

"_Haha, very funny_" replied Eleanor, "_Actually, there is a guy that I'm interested in. He's one of the new doctors, very handsome, and smart, and funny_"

"Are you actually considering settling down?" Asked Clara, in mock surprise, "He really must be something special for you to give up your single status. And here I thought you would become a maiden aunt to my children, that or join a convent"

"_Convent, please, do I seem like nun to you?_" Asked Eleanor

"Not in the slightest, you lack humility" said Clara, "Among other things"

"_Anyway, he's taking me out on a date" Eleanor told her, "Some fancy restaurant, he wants to wine and dine me_"

"Sounds like just your type" said Clara

"Clara, hurry up on the phone" her mother called out, "Your brother's here"

"I have to go" she said, dejectedly, "Have fun on your date"

"_Have fun with your family_" said Eleanor

"I'll try" she chuckled, before hanging up the phone, and making her way into the hallway

Nate was much taller then his sister, about four inches in fact, and had filled out over the years, having been rather skinny as a teenager. He shared his black hair with their father and sister, but had inherited his mother's brown eyes. His wife, Mary, was quite short and petite, with short blonde hair and blue eyes, traits their three month old daughter had inherited. Clara had always liked her sweet sister-in-law, thinking her to be a good match for her gentle, but somewhat bumbling, brother.

"Clara" said Nate, pulling her into a hug, "It's good to see you. I'm sorry about Bucky leaving, how are you doing?"

"I'm okay" she said, smiling at her older brother. Her favourite thing about her brother was his honesty, you never had to look for double meanings with him, unlike her aunt and grandmother.

"How's my little niece?" She asked, turning to Mary

"Keeping us up all night" Mary replied

"Well, sleep deprivation looks good on" Clara joked, "Besides, when she's a teenager she'll be keeping you up at night for different reasons"

"Don't even mention that" warned Nate, "I don't want to think about it"

"Don't worry honey" said Mary, "That's many years away"

Sarah was soon plucked from her mother's arms, as Matilda began cooing over her granddaughter. Even Catherine managed a smile.

The family soon settled around the table, falling into natural conversation. But Clara couldn't help but notice the tightness of her mother's smile, and the fact she kept shooting wary looks towards Catherine. Matilda's uneasiness only caused Clara to become on edge, expecting the worst from her grandmother. And it soon came.

"So, Clara" said Catherine, "I hear you're planning on joining the Army Nurses"

Her question got the attention of the whole table, each ending their own conversations to turn their attention to Catherine and Clara.

"Yes" said Clara, through gritted teeth, shooting a glare towards a guilty Daisy. Though, she had fully expected Daisy to tell Matilda, and for Matilda to tell Catherine. She knew they meant well, but couldn't help but be angry with them for their interference.

"You want to go and risk your life of the off chance that you'll be reunited with your husband" said Audrey, who was truly aghast by the news, "This seems foolish, even for you"

"This isn't about Bucky" she snapped, though she knew it was at least partly a lie, "I want to do this. I want to help people. I'm sure that's something you couldn't possibly understand"

"Clara" scolded Matilda, but she was not even remotely listening to her mother

"No" she yelled, banging her fist on the table as she rose, leaning forward, "I will not let her sit there and berate me about my choices" she said, "It's my life, they're my decisions. I'll do what I goddam want"

"I suppose you learnt to use language like that with your husband" said Audrey, her face remaining stoic despite Clara's anger, "But, that's what you get when you marry beneath you"

Clara shook with anger at her aunt's words, and before she knew it, her hand was connecting with Audrey's cheek in one hell of a slap. Chaos erupted at the table, Jonathan rushed to his wife's side, Matilda and Daisy were gaping at her, Audrey's eyes were wide with shock as she stared up at her.

"Don't you ever speak about him like that" she warned her aunt, her voice so low it was almost a growl

All eyes were on Clara, as she retreated back up the stairs, slamming her bedroom door shut behind her. Her chest heaved from the rush of adrenaline. She'd never done anything like that before. But she'd been so angry. She would be lying if she said she hadn't thought about hitting her aunt before, but she'd never actually believed she would go threw with it.

It was then that she made her decision. It didn't matter to her what her family thought, she would join the Army Nurse. Even if she didn't see Bucky again, it was better then sitting at home just waiting for him to return.

* * *

**There will be a time skip between this chapter and the next, and as such, I'm including Bucky's reply letter here.**

_Dear Clara,_

_Training's good, or at least as good as it could be. I'm doing fine, I hope you are too. I think it's a great idea to join the nurses, you already know you're great at it. Whatever you decide to do, you know I'll support you no matter what. I miss you too, it's getting pretty lonely without you. Hopefully the war will end soon and I can come home._

_Love, Bucky_

* * *

**Reviews would be much appreciated, I'd love to hear what you think of the story so far, Clara, her relationship with Bucky, and just about any other opinion you have.**


	6. Chapter 6 - Reunions

**Disclaimer: Everything belongs to its rightful owners.**

* * *

_"Reunion reveals friendship potential that haven't yet been emerged in the past."_

_Toba Beta_

* * *

**Chapter Six - Reunions**

Clara had been working as an nurse in the army for almost a month now, and as such, has grown accustomed to her new job, and new life. She had fallen into a pattern pretty quickly. The work days were long and hard, the reality of war a tough one, but Clara felt more satisfied then she imagined she would've felt at home. Here, she was helping to save lives. And that in itself, was the greatest reward she'd ever known.

"Clara, redress his wound for me" Doctor Smith ordered her, as he moved off to deal with another patient

Clara moved to the soldier's bedside, the man looked quite young, probably around Daisy's age, barely old enough to be called a man. He had brown hair and eyes, and his skin was still pale from the blood loss caused by his gunshot wound.

"What's your name?" She asked the soldier, as she began to redress the wound

"Michael" he told her, his eyes watching every move her fingers made

"And how old are you, Michael?" She asked, attempting to distract him as she cleaned out his wound, "You look pretty young. But you could be older then you look, people always say I look younger then I am"

"I'm twenty" he replied, wincing, "What about you? You' re gotta be younger then me"

"Actually, I'm twenty four" she said, pulling new bandages over his abdomen, "Like I said, I look young. Must be a hereditary thing, most of my family age well. How long have you been over here?"

"Two months of Hell" said Michael, "You?"

"Three months" she said, "But I only just here. I've always wanted to go to Italy, shame about the circumstances that brought me here"

"Yeah, damn shame" Michael muttered, his eyes finally moving from her, to stare up at the ceiling

"Finished" she said, taking a step away from the bed

"Thanks" he replied, but his gaze remained on the roof, his eyes turning blank, and Clara was glad to not know the thoughts running through his mind

She walked down the aisle, turning when she heard her name being called, to see Sarah, her fellow nurse and fast friend, walking up to her.

"Where have you been?" Clara asked her

"Trying to catch a glimpse of Captain America" Sarah shrugged, grinning at her

"What?" Asked Clara, frowning

"Captain America's doing some show here" Sarah explained, "I wanted to see him for myself, judge if he actually is as good looking as they say"

Steve was here. He was here, in Italy.

Clara's heart leapt at the thought of seeing Steve again. Spending three months away from home was making her miss it, and she had long since considered Brooklyn to be her home. And right now, Steve was the closest thing to home she had come into contact with.

"I'm going to take the dirty sheets out to the laundry" she said to Sarah, knowing she could use it as an excuse to find Steve

"But it's raining" Sarah pointed out

"It'll clean the sheets" said Clara, ignoring Sarah's confused face to grab onto the bag with the dirty sheets.

She used the bag to shield herself from the pouring rain, as she ran towards the laundry tent. The sheets were quickly thrown into the basket, before she rushed back outside. She had no idea where to start looking for him, and it was only a stroke of luck that she saw the familiar figure in the distance. She ignored the rain, her face breaking out into a smile, as she ran towards him.

_"_Steve Rogers" Said Clara, slowly down to a stop in front of him, grinning at him as he turned around to look at her

"What are you doing here?" asked Steve, shock clear on his face

"I've been working as an army nurse for the past few months" she explained, "I...had hoped that I might see Bucky again"

"You haven't?" he asked

"No" she sighed, "He said that he was stationed here, but I only just got here. I haven't exactly had enough time to look for him"

"I'm sorry 'bout that" he said

"What about you?" Clara asked, trying to liven the mood, "Things have certainly changed for you since we last spoke" she said, gesturing to his body and raising her eyebrow, "And whatever it is, please tell me" she said, "Because, I would love to grow a few inches"

"Things certainly have changed" he chuckled

"So" she said, sitting down next to him, "I thought Captain America was trying to sell bonds"

"You saw my show?" He asked

"No, I read the newspaper" she said, "Why are you doing shows here?"

"They thought that I could boost soldier moral" he explained

"I'm guessing that it didn't go very well" she said, looking down at his drawing of himself as a trained monkey

"It didn't" he said

"It'll get better" she said, moving her hand onto his, giving it a squeeze, "You just have to stick it out"

"Thanks" he nodded

Clara looked up to see a woman approaching them, noticing Steve's face instantly brighten at the sight of her.

"A friend of yours?" Clara asked him, as the woman reached them

"Uh, Clara, this is Peggy" he introduced them

"Peggy Carter" said the woman, holding out her hand

"Clara Barnes" she replied, taking Peggy's hand to shake, "I'm Steve's...well, I'm married to his best friend so I suppose I'm kind of his sister-in-law of sorts"

"I'm...his friend" said Peggy, but Clara noticed the obvious relief on Peggy's face

"Well, I have to go back to work" she announced, sensing that she was no longer wanted, "Hopefully I'll see you again Steve. It was nice to meet you Peggy"

Clara turned, winking at Steve, grinning as she walked away from them. She was glad that Steve had found someone who was genuinely interested in him, and it was good to see him again, but she couldn't help but wish it was Bucky she was seeing.

Unfortunately, Clara did not get the chance to see Steve again. She'd spent the rest of the day redressing wounds and cleaning beds, then spent much of the night sitting with the wounded, comforting them when their nightmares woke them. The few hours of sleep she had gotten in the morning were just enough to keep her going.

"You'll be fine" Clara told the soldier, as she finished wrapping up his wound, "But don't touch the bandage"

"Clara" called out Sarah, running past the beds, "Soldiers are back"

"Do they need us to treat the wounded?" Clara asked her

"No, Captain America brought back soldiers" said Sarah, "You need to come with me right now"

"What?" Clara asked, her jaw dropping in shock.

When had Steve even left? Why had Steve left? Why did he think it was a good idea to risk his life?

Those questions flew around her brain, she knew that Steve was brave almost to the point of stupidity, but this was a whole new level. And if she was honest with herself, she was glad he hadn't told her. The stress would've killed her.

"Just" said Sarah, exasperated, as she grabbed on to Clara's wrist, "Come with me"

"What's going on?" Clara asked, but Sarah just ignored her, and kept leading her towards the sounds of voices.

And that was when she heard her name being called. By a voice she knew just as well as her own.

"Bucky" she whispered

Clara pulled her arm out of Sarah's grip, tearing off in the direction of his voice, pushing people out of her way. Her eyes desperately scanning the people in search of him.

"Clara" she heard again, louder this time,

"Bucky" she yelled out, as people began to move out of her way

And then she saw him, and everything just stopped. It was like everything was blocked out, everything, but him. She didn't even realise that she was running, her legs had a mind of their own, but even they knew that the only place she wanted to be was with him.

"Bucky" she said, in barely a whisper, as she neared him

"Clara" he replied, reaching out his hands, pulling her into his arms, "I've missed you"

Clara's eyes welled up with tears, as she wrapped her arms tightly around him, grabbing the back of his shirt in her fist. She had never been more thankful in her life. She pulled her head back to look at him, moving her hand to his cheek.

"You look like hell" she told him

Bucky let out a hollow laugh, moving his hands to grip her face, leaning his forehead against hers.

"God I love you" he said, before pulling her into one almighty kiss

Clara felt like life was being breathed back into her. She was suffocating, but Bucky brought her air.

Even after they pulled away from one another, Clara still clung to him like her life depended on it. In that moment, she was sure that she would never let him go again.

"Hey" called out Bucky, "Let's hear it for Captain America"

Clara joined in on the clapping and cheering of the crowd, smiling brightly at Steve. Never had she been more grateful to anyone in her life, then she was in that moment, nor had she even been more glad of Steve's tendency towards idiotic heroics.

* * *

At Clara's insistence, Bucky was taken immediately to the infirmary to be checked at be the doctor. He had insisted he was fine, but she would have none of it. Once he had been checked out and patched up, Clara had dragged him into the laundry room. It was one of the few places they could get some privacy.

"We could have been alone faster if you hadn't insisted I go to the infirmary" he said, moving his hands to grip her waist

"You're not coming home are you" she said, looking down at the ground, there was no questioning in her tone, she didn't need it. She never needed to ask what he would do. She just knew.

"No, I'm not going with you" he replied, moving his thumb to her chin, forcing her to look up at him, "I'm gonna stay here with Steve"

"Then what makes you think I'll be going home?" She asked, moving her hands to grip his shirt, "Where you go I go. And not letting you go again, ever. I'm stuck with you"

"No, Clara, you have to go home" he told her, moving his hands to grip her wrists, "It's not safe for you here"

"I don't care. I'm not leaving you" she said, "I can't bear to be apart from you, not knowing if you alive, or hurt. It killed me. You came here, and you took my heart with you. And the heart's a pretty vital organ. I need it back. I need you"

"I know, I left my heart with you when I came here" he said, smiling down at her, "This romantic talk is sweet and all, but there's something I'd much rather be doing"

Bucky smirked, as he leaned down to press his lips against hers. His hands went to her back, pressing her body against his, her hands went to his hands. The kiss was full of need and want, each trying to express everything they'd felt since they'd last seen each other.

"Bucky, we have to stop" she said, her hand pushing his chest away, "You're still weak. And the laundry room is not as private as I'd like for that particular activity"

"You're killing me Mrs Barnes" he said

"That's the plan" she teased, smirking at him, "So, do you want to talk about it? I mean, being a prisoner"

"Not really" he replied grimly, "It's not something I want to relive, or something I want you to know too much about"

"Was it the Germans?"

"No" he said, "They're called Hydra"

"Hydra?" Asked Clara, "Like in Greek Mythology?"

"What?" Asked Bucky

"It was a multi headed serpent, and each time you cut off one head, two more would grow back" explained Clara, "Hercules killed it by burning the stumps after he chopped the head off, so nothing could grow back"

"You have some strange interests" he told her

"Shut up" she said, playfully smacking his arm, "So, what are they?"

"The Nazi's rogue science division" he told her,

"Is that what you'll do next?" She asked, "Hunt down Hydra?"

"We're heading out to London tomorrow, but that's what Steve's planning to do, so I guess I've gotta look after his dumb ass" he said, causing Clara to laugh, "I was hoping you'd come with us"

"And how do you planning on convincing them to let me go?" She asked

"Well, if you don't go then I don't go, and if I don't go then Steve doesn't go" he said, "See the logic"

"God I've missed you, James Buchanan Barnes"

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed the chapter. I'm going to be doing some one-shots about Clara and Bucky prior to the story, give me any suggestions about what you want to be included. I've set up a poll to vote for who you want to play Clara, and I'm open to any of your suggestions.**


	7. Chapter 7 - Budding Friendships

**Disclaimer: Everything belongs to its rightful owner.**

* * *

_"The capacity for friendship is God's way of apologizing for our families."_

_Jay McIrnerey_

* * *

**Chapter Seven - Budding Friendships**

The bar was noisy with roudy drunk men when Clara walked in, but quietness down significantly upon her entry. But Clara did not notice the men's reaction. There was only one man she was looking for.

Her face broke out into a smile, when she found him conversing with Steve and Peggy. She rolled her eyes at her husband's obvious flirting, knowing that it was completely harmless. He always was a charmer. Besides, Peggy only had eyes for Steve.

"0800, Captain" said Peggy, turning and walking past Clara

"Yes Ma'am" called out Steve, "I'll be there"

"I'm invisible" said Bucky, "I'm turning into you, it's like a horrible dream"

"Don't take it so hard" said Steve, patting Bucky on the shoulder, "Maybe she's got a friend"

"Don't worry, soldier" said Clara, sauntering up to him, "I see you, perfectly clearly"

"That's all I need" he said, grabbing onto her hand, "C'mon, I'll introduce you to all of the guys"

"Oh, so you've made friends" she teased, "And here I thought all the other soldiers would be mean to you"

"No, you're the only mean one" he said, throwing his arm around her shoulder, smirking down at her, as he led her towards a table full of men, "Clara, this is Jim, Monty, Dum Dum, Gabe, and Frenchie" said Bucky, pointing to each of them, respectively, "Guys, this is Clara"

"Well, she's even prettier then you said" said Dugan, winking at her, "We've heard lots about you"

"Only good things I hope" she said

"There's only good things about you" said Bucky, pressing a kiss to her forehead

"Ah, you've got him wrapped around your finger" said Dugan

"That was my aim" she joked

"Elle est très jolie, vous ne pensez pas?" (_She's very pretty, don't you think_), Jacques said to Gabe,

"Ce est une bonne chose Bucky ne peut pas parler français" (_It's a good thing Bucky can't speak French_) Gabe replied, grinning and shaking his head

"Merci" said Clara, grinning as shock crossed over their faces, except for Bucky, who was smirking proudly at her, "Vous êtes pas mal vous" (_Thank you. You are not half bad yourself_)

"I like her" announced Jacques, as the men began to laugh,

"Where did you learn French?" Asked Gabe

"My mother, it's a bit of a family tradition" she told them, "My great grandmother was French"

"Où était-elle?" (_Where was she from?_) Asked Jacques

"I...I'm not sure where she was from actually" she said, frowning, "But, I know she met my great grandfather in Paris. She was assigned to be his translator, so he pretended he didn't know French to keep her around"

"Ah, sounds like my type of guy" said Dugan

"Yes, he was quite the charmer" muttered Clara, "So charming in fact, that he convinced her to marry him and move to America after only a month"

"Took me three years" said Bucky

"What, scared of her father?" Asked Jim

"No, he loves me" said Bucky, "Her grandmother scares me"

"She scares everyone" muttered Clara, "She really is the in-law from Hell. Actually, she's the family member from Hell"

"Well, thank God you're here and not her" said Dugan

The men continued to drink and talk long into the night, well after Bucky and Clara retired.

* * *

"Sergeant Barnes says you're quite the shot" said Colonel Phillips, holding out the handgun to her, "Care to prove it?"

"No problem" she said, raising her eyebrows as she took the gun, "Is there something in particular you want me to aim at? Because I somehow don't think you'd chance it and have me shoot at anything in case I hit someone. Not that I would"

"Get her a target board" he told one of the agents, "Follow me, Mrs Barnes"

She shot Bucky a look, but he just shrugged , grinning smugly. The rest of the men followed behind her, all intrigued, wanting to witness her skills.

"Ready, Mrs Barnes" said Phillips and she nodded, "Then go right ahead"

Clara lifted the gun with both her hands, aimed at the board, and fired. Two shots to the heart and one to the head. She let her hand fall back to her side, her eyebrow raised as she turned to look back at Colonel Phillips.

"Alright, I'm impressed" he said, "You can stay. Just try not to die"

"Always my aim, sir" she replied

The rest of the men all looked on, both surprised and impressed, "Well I'll be damned" said Dugan, clapping Bucky on the shoulder, "She really is a good shot"

"Where did you learn to shoot?" Asked Monty

"My Uncle lives on a farm, we used to spend summers with him, he taught my siblings and I" she explained, "My older brother was good, but he didn't enjoy it, and my sister didn't excel in the slightest. My cousins were too young, so my Uncle used to take me hunting with him"

* * *

"Phillips is quite impressed with you" said Peggy, "And that's a difficult feat"

"Well, I'm an impressive person" she joked, "You must have impressed him a lot, not many men are very accepting of women working in jobs they deem to be for men. Which is of course most jobs. And then, you're expected to stop working after you get married. Even my own family disapproved of my choice to keep working after I married Bucky"

"You didn't listen to them?" Asked Peggy

"I don't listen to people that try to hold me back" she said, "I'm quite good at being a nurse, and I enjoy it. I'm not going to stop just because it's expected of me. I don't think either of us are ones that do something simply because it's expected of us"

"Can you defend yourself?" Peggy asked her, "What are you like without a gun?"

"Well, according to my ex-boyfriend I've got a mean right hook, and that was before Bucky taught me how to punch" said Clara, "But I was always discouraged from getting into fights by my parents. Though I ignored them on multiple occasions"

"I could help train you" Peggy offered, "If you'd like"

"I think that'd be good" she said, "Now, do you want to tell me what's the story with you and Steve? And don't tell me there's no story, I've seen you two together"

"Steve is..."

"Steve is Captain America, but you don't like him because of that" said Clara, "You like him because he's Steve Rogers, and you would still like him if that's all he was. Not many people have been willing to look past physical appearances and see what's underneath"

"He's a good man" said Peggy, "Probably the best person I've ever met"

"Well, I have to say, I would much rather have a double date with you and Steve then the last one we had" she said, causing Peggy to raise her eyebrows, "My best friend. And don't get me wrong, I love her to death, but she places far more importance on physical appearance then I do. Personally, I think you and Steve are quite cute together"

"Thank you" said Peggy

* * *

"Ah, Miss Barnes, it's wonderful to see you again" said Howard, "How have you been?"

"Delightful until I saw you" she said sarcastically,

"You must be glad to be reunited with your husband" he said

"I am" she said, "What about you? Anyone special?"

"Serious relationships aren't my thing" he admitted, "It'd take a very special women to make me reconsider"

"I figured" said Clara, "So, what do you do for the SSR?"

"Design their weapons for them" he said, "I actually designed Steve's shield for him, Vibranium, strongest metal in the world"

"Strong enough to stand a woman's rage I heard" she said

"Well, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" said Howard, "A lesson I've learnt many times"

"Clearly not well enough if you keep repeating it" she said, "Speaking of lessons, I'm sure my husband would love to teach you one if he found out you were flirting with his wife"

"I prefer the term playful conversation" he said

"Goodbye Howard" she said, smiling as she shook her head

"Goodbye Clara"


	8. Chapter 8 - Fights

**Disclaimer: Everything belongs to it's rightful owners.**

* * *

_"Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim."_

_Nora Ephron_

* * *

**Chapter Eight - Fights**

It had been a few months since their time in London, and Clara had been spending her time at the army camps where Bucky was stationed working as a nurse. She was currently at a camp in France, and though there were currently no injuries to attend to, she was still spending her time with the wounded soldiers.

"Qu'est-ce que vous travaillez comme avant la guerre?" (W_hat did you work as before the war?_) she asked the wounded soldier

"Je suis une formation pour devenir avocat, comme mon père" (_I was training to become a lawyer, like my father_) he replied, "Je voulais le rendre fier" (_I wanted to make him proud_)

"Je suis sûr qu'il est fier de vous maintenant" (_I am sure he is proud of you now_) she assured him, "Avez-vous une dame spéciale retour à la maison?" (_Have you got a special lady back home?_)

"Son nom est Abella" (_Her name's Abella_) he told her, his eyes lighting up at the mention of her, "Nous allons de se marier quand je reviens" (_We_ _are going to marry when I return_)

"À quoi ressemble-t-elle?" (_What is she like?_) Clara asked

"Elle est belle, et la nature, et intelligent" (_She is beautiful, and kind, and smart_) he said, wistfully

"Elle sonne comme une fille merveilleuse" (_She sounds like a wonderful girl_) said Clara

"Elle est" (_She is_)

Clara opened her mouth to speak, but abruptly closed it at the sound of gunfire. Her eyes shot towards the entrance, the gunfire was getting closer and closer, as were the sound of footsteps. "Reste silencieux" (_Stay quiet_) she ordered the soldier, grabbing the scaple from the tray, and hid behind the desk next to the entrance.

The enemy soldier entered the tent, gun pointed at the patients. She stood up, sneaking up behind him, and jabbed the scaple into his neck, piercing through the skin and into his jugular vein. Blood began to pour from the wound, the man grabbing onto it as he fell to the ground. She stepped onto the hand he held the gun in, crushing his fingers so he would let go. After he dropped the weapon, she picked it up from the ground, turning back to the soldier she was just speaking with.

"Allez, je vais être bien" (_Go, I will be fine_) he assured her

She reached down and grabbed the handgun from the dead soldier, passing it over to the injured soldier, "Je suppose que vous savez quoi faire" (_I assume you know what to do_)

"Je vais tirer sur tout bâtard qui vient dans" (_I will shoot any bastard that comes in_) he proudly announced

"C'est l'idée" (_That's the spirit_) she said

Clara readied her weapon, pulling back the tent flap to step outside. She crouched down behind one of the contaimers. She leant the gun on the containers, shielding her body, cocking the gun, she began to open fire on the enemy soldiers.

As she continued to shoot at the enemy soldiers, she failed to notice one come up behind her. Only noticing when she heard the shot letting out a cry, the gun fall ing from her hands to the ground, as she fell back behind the container. She heard her name being called, looking up to see Falsworth and Dugan kneeling next to her.

"I need to get to the infirmary" she told them

"Take her, I'll cover you" said Dugan

Falsworth scooped her up into his arms, beginning his mad dash towards the infirmary. Her vision began to darken as he laid her down on one of the beds. The voices of him and the doctor turned into white noise, as she faded from consciousness.

* * *

Slowly, Clara began to wake up. Her vision was blurry, and the voices were muffled, but eventually, things became clear. She heard her name being called, looking to her side to see Bucky sitting there.

"How are you feeling?" He asked her

"Like I got shot" she replied

"You were very lucky Clara" said Doctor Jones, "Clean shot, through and through, no internal damage. All you'll have now is a scar"

"Thank you" she said

"Hope you feel better" said the doctor, walking off to help another patient

"Is everyone okay?" She asked Bucky

"Scrapes and bruises, we're all fine" he said, "You gave me quite the scare"

"You can't get rid of me that easily" she teased

"You're being sent to London, you can work for the SSR there" he told her, "We'll still be able to see each other, you'll be safe there"

"I suppose that's the best scenario, better then being sent home at least" she said, "Imagine what my family will say when they found out I've been shot"

"You're grandmother will probably kill us both" he said

"Oh well, now I've got a scar with a cool story behind it" she said, "One to tell the grandkids I suppose"

"You're planning that far in advance" he said, "I think we need to have children first"

"After the war, we'll get started on it" she told him, "Have our own little brood"

"Enough to field a baseball team?"

"I think you're being a bit optimistic there" she said, "Besides, you know you're the only reason I go to baseball games"

"It's a good thing you suffer for me" he said, "I almost broke up with you when you said you hated baseball"

"I don't hate it, I just prefer sports of a faster nature" she said, "Besides, I can't be too much of your perfect match, it just wouldn't be fair"

"I think you're perfect enough"

"Stop your lovey-doveyness" teased Dugan, "You're making me sick"

"You're just jealous" said Clara, "You need to find yourself a girlfriend"

"It's on the top of my to-do list, after winning the war" he replied

"Thank you, both of you" she said to Dugan and Falsworth,

"Not a problem" said Falsworth, "Didn't think Barnes could function without his wife"

"You should've seen his face" said Dugan,

"Steve, can you please help me here?" Said Bucky, as Steve approached the table

"Sorry, can't help you there" said Steve, "I've seen your obsession first hand for three years"

"Because you're not at all obsessed with Peggy" countered Clara

"Oh, she's got you there, Cap" said Dugan, "We better go pack up before we head out"

"Hope you feel better" said Falsworth, the pair of them exiting the tent

"You're leaving?" She asked

"Don't worry, we'll see each other before Christmas" Bucky promised her, pressing a kiss to her forehead

"Both of you look after each other" she ordered them, pointing her finger at them, "And try not to die"

"We'll try our hardest" said Steve

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**Please tell me what you think of this chapter. Was it realistic? Did you enjoy it? What do you think of Clara's actions and her characterization? Don't forget about the poll on my profile, I'd love for you all to vote. One more chapter, and then it's on to the sequel.**


	9. Chapter 9 - Grief

**Disclaimer: Everything belongs to it's rightful owners.**

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_"When he died, all things soft and beautiful and bright would be buried with him"_

_Madeline Miller_

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**Chapter Nine - Grief**

The past few months for Clara had been boring in comparison to her work as an army nurse, but she still felt more productive then she would have at home. She had fallen into a routine, spending her time as working as a sort-of secretary to Colonel Phillips. The work was easy enough, Peggy and her became fast friends, and she still got to see Bucky. It was a satisfying enough routine.

A routine that was disrupted by a knock at her bedroom door.

"Steve" she said after opening the door, throwing her arms around his neck. The fact that he didn't return the hug was her first clue, and the look on his face was the confirmation. Something had happened.

"What's wrong? What happened?" She asked, "Where's Bucky?"

"Clara, I'm sorry" said Steve

"No, no. Where is he?" She yelled, "Where is he?"

"He's gone, Clara, he's gone" said Steve, grabbing onto her flailing arms, "He's gone"

"No, he's not, he can't be!" She pounded her fists onto his chest, "He can't be"

"I'm sorry" he said, wrapping his arms around her, "I'm so sorry"

It was a good thing that Steve held Clara in his grip, because her body had become numb, no longer able to hold herself up. Her hands grasped at Steve's shirt, which had already began to dampen from her profuse tears.

It was awhile before he left, a period consisting of both of their grief outpouring, sharing each other's pain. But it didn't lessen the grief, the hurt was still ever present. And even afterwards, as Clara lay in her bed, she had never felt so alone.

* * *

She didn't know how long it had been since she'd heard the news. She hadn't eaten unless forced to, slept unless her body gave out from exhaustion. She could do nothing. Everytime she closed her eyes, all she could see was him. Her dreams were plagued by her imaginings of his death. She didn't need to see it for it to haunt her. Knowing was enough. But she had to know, the not knowing would've been a far greater burden.

But he had left her. She had given up everything for him. He was her whole world. And now he was dead. He had gone and gotten himself killed. And left her alone.

These thoughts were sickening to her. A poison infecting her mind. Warping it. She shouldn't be thinking these things. Bucky was her husband. She loved him with her entire being. But he was gone, leaving a gaping hole where he had once stood, her life ripped apart in a single moment.

The happier memories were no longer of use. Like flowers that had died, constricting her mind, weeds weaving through her memory to destroy every happy ocession of her life, leaving her alone with only her darkest thoughts.

The room was dark, the curtains pulled over the windows, blocking any possible light. She couldn't tell if it was night or day. Time was irrelevant. Everything was irrelevant. There was nothing left for her. There was nothing left of her. The darkness of the room had seeped into her pores, traveling through her bloodstream and into her heart, into her very soul. Darkness had infiltrated her very being, and she had no idea where to find the light to fight it.

She clutched the bottle closer to her chest. Usually, alcohol was not a vice she enjoyed much of. But for the occasion, Clara thought drowning her sorrows to be an effective coping mechanism. The alcohol was clouding her brain, reality and her memories morphing into one, the lines becoming blurred in such a way that she no longer knew what was real and what were her imaginations.

Her vision was blurry, but she could've sworn she saw him. He was there, standing in front of her.

"James, Bucky, is that you?" She whispered

"Yeah, it's me, I'm here" he replied, "I'm here, it's okay"

"Do...do you remember how I used to only call you James?" She said, "And you said, the first time I called you Bucky, was when you knew I loved you. Even though, it was only our second date"

"When I took you to Central Park" he said, "You looked beautiful in that green dress"

"That was a nice day" she mumbled, "Can we go back to that day? I liked that day, it was a good day, a happy day"

"You know we can't"

"We can, we can" she said, slumping down against the bed, "We will, Bucky..."

But he was gone. The figament of her imagination had returned to her mind. And she was alone.

* * *

The snow fell outside, softly, like petals of a flower, graceful in their descent. She wished she could be like them. But her fall was heavy, ending with a thud, all tangled limbs and broken bones. The windowsill was cold on her already numb fingers, but the cold was the same as her excruciatingly hot showers. A distraction, and not an effective one by a longshot.

She was reminded of the times growing up that she and her siblings would run about in the snow. Having snowball fights, making snow angels, building forts. Eventually, their mother would tell them to come inside, afraid they would catch a cold. She remembered the time Bucky and her had run through the snow to get to her apartment, ending up spending more time outside due to their reluctance to part from one another. Such happy times, so long ago.

The sound of the door opening wasn't enough to draw her attention away from the window, only the sound of Steve calling out her name was enough to draw her out of herself.

"It's cold in here" he said

"I like it, make's hot showers more enjoyable" she said, turning to face him, her arms folded over her chest, "I've eaten my dinner, and I got a full five hours sleep last night so -"

"That's not why I'm here" he said gloomily

"What's happened?" She asked

"I'm going after Hydra" said Steve,

"What?" She asked, her eyes widening, stepping forward towards him

"I'm taking them down" said Steve

"Please don't" she begged

"I have to do this" said Steve

"No you don't!" She yelled, "You don't. Please...please don't do this. Please don't leave me"

"I won't rest until they're all gone" he promised

"No, don't go on some suicide mission because you delusionally believe this is your fault" she said, "Because it's not. And what if something happens to you? What about me? What about Peggy? I need you, we both do"

"I have to do this, it's the right thing" he said

"Doesn't mean I have to like it" she grumbled,

"I'll come back" he said, pulling her into a hug, "I promise. Can you promise me something?"

"What?" She asked, burying her head in his chest

"No matter what, you'll be okay" he said, "You won't fall apart. Promise me"

"I promise" she said feebly

She broke away from him, to once again stand vigil by the window. Steve watched her for a few moments before turning away. Just as Steve reached the door, she called out to him, "Steve, try not to die"

Steve hesitated, turning back to look at her. She could see how torn he was, between staying and going. But she knew him. And he never backed away from a fight.

"I'll try not to"

* * *

_Steve Rogers was dead_.

He had promised her he'd come back, but he had broken that promise. She guessed that it just proved that no one was invincible, not even Captain America.

What was worse, was that a part of her knew what was coming. She knew enough of Steve, to know the value he placed on his own life, especially in comparison to the lives of others. His death was not a shock, though no less jarring. He was Bucky's best friend, her close friend. He had been an integral part of her life for almost four years. And now he was gone. Bucky was dead. Steve was dead. And she was left by herself, to fend for herself. Who did she have now? Who would help her from her grief?

But Steve couldn't be the light to bring her from the darkness. The light had to come from her. She needed to bring herself back from the edge. This was her goal, her aim. It would be difficult, but she would not let herself fall to pieces. Because that would reduce Bucky and Steve's deaths amounted to nothing, and that she would have broken her own promise.

No, the future was a climb she must do on her own. And she would try. By God, she would try.

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**The sequel will be posted tomorrow, which will take place during The Avengers. The reason how she's still around by then will be answered in the first chapter, but I would love to hear your theories. I will also be doing one-shots from the seventy year gap and a short story of Agent Carter. Hope you all enjoyed the story.**


	10. Chapter 10 - Note

Here's the link to the sequel: s/11448796/1/The-New-Avenger


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